I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
