drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
