Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
