booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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