he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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