Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
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last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
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IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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