Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
