How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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