Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
