K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
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i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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