he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just high enough for therapy.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize