sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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