i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
