please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
