hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Still dying that you shit outside
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize