he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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