apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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