dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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