He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
