Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
