I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
