I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
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My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
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Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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