she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
her vagine was all disorganized.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
