I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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