I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
