I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
