This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Did I show you my penis last night?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
