Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
