It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
