My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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