i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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