I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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