I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
