She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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