we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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