Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
