Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
