Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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