Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
