I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
