Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
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THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
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You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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