my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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