he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
