So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
