Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
only if we run a train.
done.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
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We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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