i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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