I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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