how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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