sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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