Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
