New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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