he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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