god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
