I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
