at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
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he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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