just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
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He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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