I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
false alarm, still single
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
