Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
