you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
