youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize