I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize