That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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