Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
