yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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