Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
