stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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